Tag / Depression

Self Sabotage

I think if there was one thing I’d have to say I’m amazing at, it would be self sabotage.  How do I get past it?  There are a number of things in my life right now that I don’t know how I haven’t fully sabotaged yet.   I’m not purposely out to sabotage myself but it I am just drawn to it.

I am broken and fragmented. I am trying my best to get past my issues but days like today become so hard. The smallest of things can set it off too. Even reading books on self help and such never seem to do anything for me.  I feel like there is hope and then it fades faster than it ever came.

I don’t pretend my life is perfect.

And I don’t care if you know it.

I’m trying to not continually sabotage good things in my life.  Everyday I try and find ways to eat better, exercise, do what I love, and more.  I just have more trouble – especially during winter.   I question why I live in London, Ontario but that’s a different post.

 

 

Overcoming Worry

I’m always on the lookout for ways to keep my own anxiety and bipolar depression at bay.

I read, but I need to read more. I meditate, but I need to meditate more – so I don’t just fall asleep.

A great bit of insight I just read comes from Tim Sanders and “Today We are Rich”

Try this exercise the next time you are about to face a challenge. Instead of worrying, relive a relevant success experience where you excelled.  Think of how courageous, creative, and /or forceful you were. Relive how well it turned out then, and consider how similar that situation is to your present task.  If possible, carry a picture from the experience in your wallet or stored on your smart phone.  Realize that you are the same, if not a better, person today than you were then.

Pretty powerful. I believe it because I’ve done it before.  I also think about baby steps. What? I think about the last small action I took that advance me.  In my photography I think back to the last time I tried something and it wasn’t that bad. It became a learning experience and I’m always better prepared and more confident the next time.  It’s amazing.

P.S.  I’m successful in my routine so far today.

About A Goldenwater Rule

In no way is my website going to be about celebrities, Charlie Sheen, or bipolar depression. All of this is in the news right now and I am getting more and more upset. People are getting entertainment out of a very very real manic state. People are calling Mr. Sheen “CRAZY.”

I think the best thing that can come from this is that people understand more about this type of mental illness. Sure, it’s not a true diagnosis that he’s Bipolar, but this is the kind of sign people need to know. Karla Maree’s comment on the article asking if Dr. Drew overstepped the Goldenwater Rule is great.  We need to end this exploitation of people.

I didn’t even realize a lot of my own issues until Eric Bowers sent me an e-mail asking me because he noticed a lot of signs that point to bipolar disorder. A door was opened and I was able to look at so many of my actions and past in a new light. This is all so hard and it’s terrible to watch people rip on this guy. I keep thinking about what Tod Maffin wrote yesterday regarding the fact that people wouldn’t make fun of someone with cancer.

Charlie Sheen and Bi-Polar Mania

I didn’t see the interview with Piers Morgan, but if you visit the site that this post links to, there are a list of verbatim quotes from Charlie Sheen you’ll notice that Charlie Sheen is clearly within a manic episode.  

I have no idea if Chrlie Sheen really is bi-polar; however after some Google action, I’ve found that while on Good Morning America, he denied being bi-polar and said he’s “bi-winning.”

Bi-Polar disorder is nothing to be laughed at and I thank Tod Maffin for bringing this up.  It’s a disorder that can ruin a persons life (even take it).  I know it’s gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past.  I still have massive trouble recognizing a manic episode because starting to feel good is so much better than not being able to get out of bed after a long bout of a depressed episode.

Medication can help stabilize mood and it’s very difficult.

There is a blessing hidden within.  I’m still working towards getting a handle on everything in my life but everyday I make the intention to move foward as best I can.  

Listen to your body.

I may not be involved in what I’m doing right now if it wasn’t for my body giving out.  My body fully giving out was the catalyst in realizing some deep problems.  I hope Charlie Sheen can get the help he needs.  My heart goes out.  I think the quote from Tod’s blog post should really hit home.